I wasn't looking for you #2

So there we are, you listening attentively and me spilling my guts. Bet you didn't know what you were going to get when you asked. I wondered, shit should I stop talking. I didn't.  Then I had to go. I had to get home. 

As I drove away I thought, wow I dumped all my shit on that poor dude. He asked. Bet he won't be asking me for a ride again. But.. he did.

Every time we worked together he would ask for a ride. We would talk more and more. Laugh and joke. I felt comfortable. I didn't need to impress him. Then my birthday rolled around. It was my 19th birthday and he asked if he could take me to dinner. He brought a friend and I brought one of mine. We met at the restaurant and had a good time. That night was memorable.  He managed to make me smile and laugh in the middle of a funk. 

Before I knew it Fall rolled around and it was Halloween time. He mentioned going to a theme park I said have fun let me know how it goes. All the while, I was clueless. I wasn't looking for you. I wasn't looking for anyone. But there you were. 

Next time we saw each other I asked you how your night out was. You said it was fun.  We kept our conversations and our routine.  You would let me play my cheesy music at closing time and I just thought you were the cool dude. My friend.

Before I knew it, Christmas time was here. We all got a secret Santa we had to shop for at work. A group of us agreed to hit the mall up. That shopping trip was the... "OMG, no way" moment for me. 

After having walked the mall for some time many of us had purchased our gifts. We were just hanging out at this point. I will forever remember this moment. You were walking and I heard you say, "shit, not today". I looked over at you confused. Then you did something I never expected. You grabbed my hand and held it as we walked.  Some of our friends let out an, oh my god. I just remember feeling a warm hand that made my heart pick up speed and I held my breath. 

I kept thinking what is he doing and why? Then I heard a..."hey, how are you?" Coming from a girl and she was looking at you. We stopped walking.  I let go of your hand and walked away so you could talk to your friend. The chat you had was short. You made your way to me, grabbed my bags in your left hand then with your right hand you grabbed my left. You filled me in that the girl was in the group from the Halloween outing. But you weren't interested....

 

*more later

I wasn't looking for you

I wasn't looking for you. I wasn't looking for love. I wasn't looking for anyone. 

I was worried about how to keep my sisters in a bubble,  trying to keep them from becoming me. I needed to help put clothes on their back, shoes on their feet. I needed to focus on keeping everything together.  I was looking for peace, sanity, an escape.

But there you were. "Can I get a ride home?" Yeah. That was us. I dropped you off and I hauled ass home. But one day you asked and I have no clue why I felt the need to park, shut the car off and just talk. Never in my 19 yrs of existence did I think I would defy my parents and not go straight home from work.  But there I was in a car with some dude who asked me..."so...how are you doing?" No one had ever asked me in the tone you did. And that was all I needed to let my feelings out in words.....

 

 

Am I wasting my time?

Lately,   I'm sitting back and thinking... is what I'm doing with Romance Bytes even worth anything? To whom? Who benefits?

I love having the Facebook page. I love TWEETING with the various people I have met on the site.

I did jump into this blog and page. I am enjoying every minute.  Sadly, with the way FB is going I may just keep it as a group.  I refuse to pay FB to "boost" my posts. I would rather give books away.

Do I step back and just enjoy reading and reviewing for the summer? Do I piggypack on authors and bloggers to get views on my page?

I don't know? I feel like my bad day is getting to me. I feel like my personal life is changing and with the changes reading may not be a priority.  I love to read. Work has taken a turn for the good. I'm super busy.  Haven't been able to sneak pages in like before. 

I feel confused at the moment. Every time I do something that I want I get scared and walk away. I know I'm a newbie learning the ropes. I have made great connections.  Have events lined up to attend.  Yet, I feel like... is this worth it? Does anyone even care about books and Indie authors? Who is benefiting from this?

Feeling a lil lost and confused.

I hear its alwaya best to put feelings down on paper so this is me doing that.

Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe when I wake up I will have time to think about the direction of things.

I have ranted now I say Good Night and until the next time.

Bender by Stacy Borel

Bender Review
When I first started this book I had no idea what to expect.  I got hooked on Keegan's home life.  It all hit to close to home.  When I connect with a book, I devour it. Well Bender was that book. I started on Friday (5/16/2014).  I work all day and that afternoon I got a call that my son was sick and needed to be picked up from school.  I came home early from work, got him comfy an dove in.
How I managed to read and finish this book in a few days is beyond me.  I had a busy weekend but I kid you not, I had to read at every moment. I even told the spousal unit that I needed to finish this book and post the review before I went to bed tonight.
Camden is amazing. Book boyfriend at his best. I was told to picture Shawn Dawson, while I read it. To have a visual of the main character was helpful and I can totally see why the ladies love Camden.
Can't wait for the next installment in this series.
This book is an amazing read and hope many get their paws on it.

Epic Fail Moment

I must share my first, of what I'm sure will be many, oopsy moments.

What did I do? Well, I thought the message I got in my PM was from Romance Bytes #mcm. So, I'm all, yay you are so cool and blah, blah. Then I hit send and saw who it was. My eyes almost bugged out. Dayum... it  was #fuckmefriday dude saying thanks for the love and support. Yup, not my finest moment. I attempted to clean up my mistake. SMH I felt like a complete moron.

So, to Jacob Wilson and Hilary Storm, I am so sorry for making that horrible mistake.

I felt my mistake needed to be shared with all.

#romancebytes #notperfect #oopsy #moron

Romance Books. Why?

The question I get asked all to often.  Why. Why, those books? Why do you choose to fill your mind with filth? Why perversion?  The questions are endless.

I could not answer. I could say, none of your business. Why, do you care?

I choose to say; because I enjoy it. I find it relaxing and exciting. I like to get lost in a good story that will help me forget my daily issues for a bit. Life is a bit of a struggle and why not choose a book to go on a ride with from time-to-time. Am I addicted to reading, yeah I guess I am. I read on my time. I sneak in a few pages on my lunch or while the offspring is doing homework. At night, before bedtime I will pick-up the book or Kindle and read until I fall asleep.

Some say I have way too much time on my hands. Why not workout. Why not read material that will help me on a daily basis or that will help me to become a better wife and mother. To them I say, chill. I do all those things and I educate myself daily on my day-to-day struggles. Don't judge.

Who am I?

I am a wife, mom and full-time employee. I am the mom of a special needs child that needs constant attention due to his health issues. I'm well educated on this health and very involved in what he needs. I still find time to read.

What started it all?

I read a lot when I was younger. I loved to read anything I could get my hands on. Then I stopped. A few years back I was up late at night with my son and decided to GOOGLE New York Times Best Sellers.  Well that was March of 2012. Yes, Fifty Shades of Grey was just gaining attention. The next day I had a GNO with the BFF and I started telling her about it. We stopped in at B & N and it wasn't on the floor. The girl working looked at me funny so she said lets look it up.  She found it gave a very funny look and then said, well its a special order and its a "textbook" so it $19.99 and you have to wait 5 days for it. Well, ok. And then I read the damn book so fast it was crazy.  I got book 2 digitally, on my phone because I didn't have a nook or kindle. Yes, I read book 2 and 3 on my GALAXY 1. The original book was passed on to every special needs mom I knew. Before we knew it we were having Christian Grey chat parties. The rest is history.

Last month, my husband pushed me to start a blog. Well I started with an FB page and quickly learned that I needed and actual blog site. Wordpress kept coming up so I thought what the heck. So, this is my first post.

I have started to review books and that has been so much fun. I have met authors and had books signed. I am looking forward to attending some author events in the near future. Its amazing the things that reading has done for me, the people I have met and the things that we talk about are so much fun. Making friends has been fun.

I hope I didn't bore you with this but felt I needed to start somewhere.

Thanks for reading.

#romancebytes